Nosy Interview: Tina Chang

Tina in Melotte 15 in the Heart, © Derek Santiago

The first time I saw Tina, she was passing my dorm room on the way to her own, and I distinctly remember admiring her glasses and thinking she was probably too cool for me. Luckily, she befriended me anyway, and thanks to this I passed Spanish, tried my first pineapple bun, and learned why people get all dreamy-eyed when they talk about their friends from college. 

What do you smell like? 

I'm worried I smell like my work environs. I work with juvenile offenders, in fact, the worst 3% of all juvenile offenders in Washington State. Many of these boys have not yet learned good hygiene, have
cognitive or mental health issues that preclude hygiene care, or they just don't give a rat's ass about the funk emanating from their sneakers or their sweaty parts.

My current caseload smears poop on his walls. He poops pretty much anywhere but in the toilet. He poops in his coat pocket; he poops in his portable plastic jail urinal; he poops in juice cups; and he poops in the communal mop bucket. He will even poop next to the toilet but not in the toilet. I hope this does not mean I smell like poop because, sadly, I'm around poop more than the typical person.

Paranoid that I smell like adolescent malodor and/or poop, I took the liberty to ask people I know what they think of my scent.

Friend: After a few whiffs, replies, "You smell sweet...you know, you smell like you." (Read: Not like poop!).

Coworker: Avoiding any privacy bubble awkwardness, she smells my elbow, and proclaims, "Like Target." This is a compliment; I love Target! (Also read: Not like poop!)

Mom: In Mandarin, replies, "You smell like your body's own flavor. Dad and I always thought you smelled wonderful since you were a baby." I don't know what that my own body's "flavor" means but I'm generously interpreting that as not resembling poop.

In conclusion, to answer what I smell like, I do not smell like poop, but rather a sweet, flavorful Target store. 

What do you like to smell?

The juicy spritz of orange oil when peeling an orange, coffee, Aveda stores (whose scent I have been unable to reproduce), rosemary/lavender/eucalyptus particularly in steam rooms or hot baths, Pacific NW hiking trails, campfire, fresh reams of paper, and chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven.